What I saw today…public eating – blech!!

Let me clarify the “public” part of that title. Restaurants are in public, and strangely, people eating in restaurants does not bother me. I guess maybe I don’t look at them. I sit at my table, I pay attention to my company, and I eat my food. The public eating that bugs the everloving shit out of me is the kind where you almost are run down by someone shoving the tip of a banana in their mouth. UGH!!!

1woman-eating-a-banana-1

 

So yesterday my family and I went into a rest stop somewhere on I-95 around lunchtime. I won’t bitch about the filthy family restroom that smelled like some asshole whipped it out and pissed allllllll over the entire room. It was pretty effing gross though, especially taking small children in there and expecting them to stand stock still and not touch anything. RIGHT. You just feel like a horrible parent for subjecting them to that. You’d think someone would clean that shit up at some point, right??? UGGH!

No, it was after that - I went into the little store there to see if they had something we could eat. A week long vacation sandwiched between 2 fifteen hour roadtrips = lots of fast food and we were sick of it. I checked the sandwich area of the shop and found some good stuff, so I went out to the bench to gather my family and get them to choose a lunch item or two. Walking back into the shop some dumb bitch who must have been jonesing for a banana for three days nearly ran us over. She was literally 5 steps from the cash register and had the fucking thing peeled and primed. YUCK!!!

All I’m saying is that if you are walking around from one place to another, just wait a couple of minutes before you make an animal of yourself!  Seriously -  are you really in that much of a yank to get a piece of fruit into your mouth that you can’t just hang on for 3 minutes? That lady seriously would have been in her car in 2 or 3 minutes – tops! Plus, the banana was really gross looking -  it had lots of brown spots. I would think someone would buy that shit if they were potassium-deficient and just needed a quick Vitamin K boost, not because they were actually wanting to eat it. Then again, I wouldn’t eat a banana if I was paid $1000 so no bananas look appealing to me.  

One time someone came to my house and walked in taking the last few frantic bites of an apple. She literally lives a minute from me. Could she not just take 5, relax and eat her apple at home or did she want to make sure I knew she was a fruit eater?? Pissed me right off! Plus I then had to deal with her old apple core in my garbage. YUCK!!!

The only person who I could actually watch eating and not be grossed out about it, would be My Joe Jonas – maybe not bananas though – not sure.

joe-jonas eating

What I saw today.

I see stuff all the time that is kind of surprising. Not really shocking, because you know, once you see stuff like what happened on 9/11 it would take A LOT to be shocked.

Today I was just driving, listening to some music, singing a little bit, minding my own business, when all of a sudden I look to my left at the exact moment a lady…a BIG lady…now I am talking probably low-mid threes…sitting in her car….took her finger from out of her nose where it had been and popped it right in her mouth.

Yes. I saw that today. You’re thinking, no…..she probably didn’t have her finger in her nose. Yes, yes she did.

So now I think, is that why people are so big in this country? They fill up on junk and greasy foods and when they have none of that with them and they’re looking for a snack they resort to whatever they can find in the car? Cold french fries between the car seats, peanuts that they find under the floor mats?  Or worse, people aren’t getting enough to eat so they start eating their own body’s waste products and secretions?

I must tell you that there have been times that I have been no where near food and have been so hungry I thought I would throw up. Never has it crossed my mind that eating a booger would be a good idea.

God I hope that woman stops with boogers. If by some chance you are reading this and you eat boogers, unless you’re 2, STOP IT!!! You should know better! And for the love of all things holy – if you are going to eat boogers, don’t do it in your car in broad daylight. No one wants to see that!!!

Please people. It’s like you need to be taught the basics! Here’s some info I looked up on kidshealth.org for booger eaters or people interested in finding out more about boogers:

Hey, get your finger outta there! Instead of picking them out, let’s learn about those little blobs. Yeah, we’re talking about boogers.

To understand what boogers are, you need to know about mucus (say: myoo-kus). Mucus is the sticky, slimy stuff that’s made inside your nose. If you’re like lot of kids, you have another name for nose mucus: snot. Your nose and sinuses make about a quart (about 1 liter) of snot every day.

Mucus has a pretty important job – it protects the lungs. When you breathe in air through your nose, it contains lots of tiny things, like dust, dirt, germs, and pollen. If these made it all the way to the lungs, the lungs could get irritated or infected, making it be tough to breathe. Luckily, snot helps trap this stuff, keeping it in the nose and out of the lungs.

After this stuff gets stuck inside the nose, the mucus surrounds it and some of the tiny hairs inside the nose called cilia (say: sih-lee-uh). These hairs help move the mucus and the trapped stuff toward the front of the nose or the back of the throat. When the mucus, dirt and other debris dry and clump together, you’re left with a booger. Boogers can be squishy and slimy or tough and crumbly. Everybody gets them, so they’re not a big deal. In fact, boogers are a sign that your nose is working the way it should!

If you have to get rid of boogers, your best bet is to blow ‘em out of your nose and into a tissue. Picking your nose isn’t a great idea because boogers contain lots of germs and because poking around in your nose can make it bleed.

I know I don’t need to post a booger photo here. You all know exactly what they look like, especially you freaks who eat them! A picture I would like to post? Someone who is gorgeous and smart and knows not to eat boogers. Have some decorum and class and try to refrain from eating snot, like My Joe Jonas. He eats apples and cheeseburgers and as you can see, they have served him well.

 

Good Clean Fun!

Amy Sedaris gives some great tips on entertaining and a tutorial on vaginal cleansing. Some solid info for vagina owners and lovers alike!

Amy Sedaris Vaginal Cleansing

I would say this vid may be NSFJ (Not safe for Joe). The purity ring may prohibit viewing of such items. Then again, I think it may just be a great sex ed informational piece for future knowledge, so it may be ok!

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